Film Synopsis / Highlight Reel:

Man who is quite good at doing things explains the plot to himself while doing the things he is quite good at doing.

Meanwhile on Earth, some character traits with names use models and diagrams to explain the plot to each other.

Meanwhile–back in space–struggling with the lack of diagrams or models needed to explain the plot to himself, some additional character trait with a name resorts to using condiments.

Despite the constant discussion of plot, nobody learns anything; nobody grows. Well — a potato grows. And then dies.

Digital snow falls, unconvincingly.

A naked body double walks past the camera, also unconvincingly.

The audience silently compares the glove/Ironman bit to the fire extinguisher bit from Gravity.

The audience silently compares most of the movie from something from Gravity.

The audience silently wonders if after Saving Private Ryan, Interstellar, and now this: should America spend less time rescuing Matt Damon…?

David Bowie’s “Life on Mars” plays … without any irony whatsoever.

Kristen Wiig drives another nail into the coffin of her career.

The End